Finding the calm in a chaotic world

When parents learn their child has autism, the early days can feel overwhelming and uncertain, but with the right support and strong community around them, they do not have to face that journey alone.

Invercargill parents Maia* and James* are now navigating that journey after their son Kai* (3) was found to have autism six months ago.

Maia said it was when Kai first started kōhanga reo aged 2 ½ years she noticed differences between her son and the other tamariki in such things as language, attention/focus and hand-eye coordination.

Discussions with Kai’s teachers confirmed her concerns.

Since then, the family has begun a whirlwind of appointments with various agencies for support, including the Ministry of Education for educational resources, a speech and language therapist and soon Child Development Services.

Joining Family Works’ Incredible Years Autism parenting programme (IY Autism) in February this year had also provided Maia and her family with support, reassurance and a safe space in which to learn how to engage more effectively with their son.

“The [IY Autism] tutors are calm in a world that is pretty chaotic.  It is a very safe space…with no judgment.”

The programme had given them reassurance there were things they could do to help their son to thrive.

They had learned the importance of staying calm in situations that unsettle Kai and following his lead rather than forcing situations on him.

“When Kai shows an interest in something, that is the time to jump in and use it as a teaching opportunity,” she said.

“It’s about working with him rather than working against him.”

Maia had also benefited from talking and connecting with other parents on the programme who were going through similar challenges.

“It’s that shared struggle,” she said.  “Everyone on the course is there for the same reason.  They all have an autistic child, so there is more buy-in.”

Since implementing the strategies and skills learned on the programme, there had been significant improvements in how Maia and James engaged and communicated with their son and a noticeable positive change in Kai.

“I am calmer and more prepared and can identify ahead of time situations that will upset him, like new or noisy and crowded environments,” Maia said.

“There are also less frequent meltdowns, and Kai is taking the lead more and being more explorative.”

Families starting out on the autism journey need to know they are not alone and that there is help available so their child can live their best life.

“There are people out there to help you, you just need to reach out.”

Maia recommended Family Works; IY Autism parenting programme.

“Definitely make time for the course.  It’s not just the course; it’s the support you get from the others on the course.”

Through IY Autism, Maia and James have gained not only practical tools and confidence, but also a supportive community helping them build a bright future for their young son.

* Not their real names.  Names have been changed to protect the family’s privacy

Background

IY Autism is a FREE programme delivered weekly over 14 sessions, providing practical strategies to help parents and caregivers of children aged 2-5 who have been diagnosed with autism.  The programme covers play, language development, encouraging a child’s emotional self-regulation, developing social skills and empathy and much more.

IY Autism is one of three parenting programmes run by Family Works Southland.  To find out more, visit familyworkssld.nz, or phone Nicole on 03 211 8272.