By Petrina Wright | Posted: Thursday July 11, 2024
Caring for two children under five while fighting a custody battle and suffering from post-natal depression was an extremely stressful time for Mikayla*.
The Invercargill mother credits her Family Works family whānau worker for helping her successfully navigate that difficult period in her life.
“I don’t think I would have made it through without her.”
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Mikayla was first introduced to Family Works’ Family Start programme in 2010 after the birth of her second child.
It was her midwife who referred her.
Mikayla said, although her newborn was an easy baby, she had struggled to care for two young children while experiencing post-natal depression. The depression had impacted her ability to bond with her baby.
Adding further stress, Mikayla was also going through a custody battle with her ex-partner, the father of her eldest child.
However, Mikayla said at the time she did not think she needed Family Works’ help.
“My understanding was [Family Works] was for families who were underprivileged and needed extra support and I didn’t see us that way.”
She also thought Presbyterian Support Southland, which operates Family Works, was a religious organisation and she was concerned that would be the focus.
Despite her misgivings, she agreed to go on the Family Start programme, and it turned out to be a good decision for Mikayla and her young family.
“The first time I met my support worker, she just sat down and talked to me.
“It was nice to have someone to talk to that wasn’t my husband…someone I could vent to who was independent.
“I started to look forward to seeing her.”
The family whānau worker supported the whole family and would spend time with the children, giving Mikayla a break.
It was a welcome couple of hours when the children were not attached to her, Mikayla said.
The family whānau worker also gave her encouragement, coping strategies, parenting tips, linked her to other supports and challenged her thinking.
“I was taken aback to start with.
I thought: “Wait, aren’t you meant to be on my side?”’
However, having someone with an independent perspective helped Mikayla to “take the blinkers away” and see her situation and her thinking more clearly, she said.
“I started to hold myself to account.”
For the first six months, when she was really unwell, the family whānau worker visited weekly, but after she began to feel better, the visits became fortnightly.
She remained in the programme for five years.
The programme had proven so beneficial to Mikayla and her family that when her third child was born two years ago, Mikayla self-referred to the Family Start programme again.
“I knew with my history of mental illness I was more susceptible to post-natal depression again.”
Mikayla said she had a good rapport and relationship with her new family whānau worker Danielle Abey.
“She really cares about helping us.
“It is nice to have someone in your corner batting for you.”
Mikayla recommended the programme to others.
“If [parents] just give it a go, they would realise just how beneficial these programmes are.”
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It has been 14 years since Mikayla first joined the Family Start programme.
She is now a happy 35-year-old mother of three, armed with strategies to parent her children well and maintain her own good mental health.
Not only that, but she had been inspired to use her own experiences to help others struggling with mental health issues.
Last year, Mikayla completed a New Zealand Certificate in Health and Wellbeing (Social and Community Services) (Level 4) course with a strand in mental health and addiction support at the Southern Institute of Technology, and intended to follow that up with a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology through Massey University.
She wants to work with teenagers and young adults.
“It is important to intervene at this early stage before addictions, self-harming and other self-sabotaging behaviours take hold.”
Ultimately, Mikayla said she wanted to work for Family Works.
“I want to give back to a service that has given so much to me.”
(*not the mother’s real name. Her name has been changed to protect the family’s privacy)
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PSS was founded by the Presbyterian church, but its focus is on providing social services and practical support to the community.
Family Start is a free, home-based programme in which a family whānau worker supports parents to achieve better health, education and social outcomes for their children from birth up to five years of age. They also link families with other supports as needed.
The programme is offered in Invercargill, Te Anau, Manapouri, Gore and Mataura.
To be eligible for the Family Start programme, families must be facing challenges such as housing issues, multiple births, relationship issues, physical or mental health issues, lack of support, addictions, among others.
To find out more go to: pss.org.nz/family-works/services/family-start\